[Februaryuri 2024 rerun] How Do We Relationship?
(base post on Februaryuri here!)
(note that all that follows, unless mentioned explicitly or in the rerun section, was written in February 2024)
How Do We Relationship? (Tsukiatte agete mo ii kana) by Tamifull/tmfly
Publication
Ongoing (13 volumes so far)
Published in English (VIZ Media), 11 volumes so far
Still not published in French yet :(
Summary
Miwa and Saeko are two college students, friends and members of the same band. Miwa is naive, a bit shy, definitely into women, and definitely in the closet. Saeko is shameless, bold, definitely into women, and definitely tired of faking being straight. One day, they realize two things: they’re both lesbians, and they’re both somewhat into each other. They are also craving a relationship, and oh so exhausted of Japan’s heteronormativity. And since it’s not everyday that you meet another gay woman you like… why wouldn’t they try dating?
Of course, it’s hard. It’s hard because they’re so different personality-wise. It’s hard because Miwa is inexperienced in relationships, and for a long time didn't think she would ever be able to date anyone. It’s hard because Saeko dated men before to try and "straighten" herself, and is now full of trust issues and traumas. And it’s just hard because they are in Japan, and their friends are mostly straight guys who don’t know how to deal with this.
But well, they’ll make it work, won’t they?
CW (a bit heavy)
- Everyday lesbophobia (addressed)
- Bullying (evoked, not depicted) due to lesbophobia
- Internalized lesbophobia (notably originating from said bullying)
- Sexual trauma (due to past straight relationships as a way to hide one's lesbianism)
- Explicit sex (NSFW) at times
- One scene of derealization during sex
- Several very flawed relationship dynamics (addressed)
- Depression and particularly unhealthy relationship dynamic (vol. 5-6, addressed)
Sexual elements?
Explicit sex quite often, possibly among the most realistic I've read: full of hesitations, and awkwardness, and shyness, and horniness, and natural dialogue; the scenes themselves are weaved into the story as any other element.Comment
Gosh, this manga. It really felt like a treasure trove when I discovered it. It has some of the most realistically messy depictions of relationships I know, and I love it so much. Its main characters are three-dimensional, and everything in their hesitations, in their mistakes, in their highs and lows, felt like it was validating something in me. Also the fact that they have explicit sex in a way that is neither sexualized for some outside gaze, nor a build-up signifying the climax of a story, but just as any other facet of their relationship dynamic - and the way that this is used in a clever way to explore their more vulnerable moments and highlight their flaws - is also one-of-a-kind in the genre.
There's so much else to say - so in a few words: the art style conveys very well the fashion sense of the two leads; the story is about college students which is not something you find that often in yuri1; there's a bit of ace representation and a lot of talks on what relationships and sex mean to the characters; several characters feel like actual, relatable, flawed yet memorable people; a lot of moments are narratively striking and some scenes will really stay with you. Also the way Miwa is both interested in sex and very much ashamed of anything related to that made me feel seen in ways I never expected to be.
Overall, this manga expertly challenges all the expected narrative structures about romances and relationships, and is built to very quickly focus on the one question where a lot of romances stop: skip the will-they-won't-they, what happens once you're a couple?
The characters mess up a lot, but in the same realistic way your friends would: the one that makes you want to shake them by the collar and tell them to communicate (and probably find a therapist). It’s frustrating, but in a brilliant way.
I can't recommend it enough or get enough of it, honestly.
Extra
Some small related oneshots by the same author can be found here (written before the serialization into a manga - I highly recommend reading 4 or 5 volumes of the actual series before this, though, as it has similar story beats), and here (NSFW, written as a sequel to the previous one shot).
Also here's a dedicated blog by someone who really loves this manga, too, aptly titled Oh My God, They Were Bandmates. It sadly hasn't been updated in a while, but it dives into a few things around the series and notably has an in-depth analysis of the first volume. There's just so much to say about it.
Rerun section
When I posted all this, Frank Hecker pointed out on cohost that for US residents, English publisher Viz does an online simultaneous publication thing, releasing the translated chapters at the same time as their Japanese version, without having to wait for any volume-bound physical release. It's country-restricted, though, but it may still be of interest to some of you.
Aside from that, several additional pre-serialization oneshots were recently fan-translated and can be found here and here; I haven't actually read them yet because I still have to reread it all and get past volume 8, where I already was in February when writing all this... and I'm scared of getting spoiled.
Judging by what I can see at a glance, though, I really don't recommend reading those early on in your read.
There's also this silly NSFW extra that was also scanlated recently and fits somewhere between volumes 2 and 3.
All this makes me want to start my reread now. Gosh.
Other yuri works with college students covered later in this series of reviews include Otherside Picnic and Kase-san, with very different tones.↩