All the Touhou games, badly summarized
With Touhou 20 just announced, a demo planned for May and a full release for August of this year, it feels fitting to repost here this little thing that I've written a while ago and recently found back on my phone. Just in case it may help you catch up on the variously weird plots of all the Touhou games prior to the upcoming one.
Or, sort of, at least.
Touhou 1: There are ghosts invading from Hell! Or maybe from the Demonic Plane. We aren't really sure. Play some weird Breakout game to find out.
Touhou 2: "Hahahaha! It is I, Mima!" - some vengeful ghost from the previous game
Touhou 3: Gensokyo exists and can be reached using science, study finds
Touhou 4: Oh wow we shouldn't have awakened this youkai
Touhou 5: In shocking turn of events, touristic visits of Gensokyo from the Demonic Plane go wrong
Touhou 6: "Fuck the sun" - a vampire
Touhou 7: "What if I had the best flower-viewing party while my gf is asleep?" - some ghost princess
Touhou 7.5: "Let's all get drunk all the time!!" - a drunk youkai
Touhou 8: "Fuck the moon" - some ex-moon dwellers
Touhou 9: Girl Charon slacks off at work
Touhou 9.5: "I sure love taking pictures!" - a journalist
Touhou 10: "We live here now." - some new god moms
Touhou 10.5: "I'M!! BORED!!" - a Celestial
Touhou 11: "Yo little crow what if you ate the sun" - the god moms
Touhou 12: A buddhist saint is awakened because of the god moms
Touhou 12.3: Everyone runs after a big advertising balloon while the god moms are being shady
Touhou 12.5: "You're taking pictures wrong!" - another journalist
Touhou 12.8: FAIRIES FIGHT!! Who is the best fairy? Vote now on your phones!
Touhou 13: A historical emperor is awakened because of the god moms, and also is trans
Touhou 13.5: RELIGIONS FIGHT!! What is the best religion? Vote now on your phones!
Touhou 14: Breaking news! Anarchist objects have become sentient and are trying to take over the world!
Touhou 14.3: WANTED dead or alive, but preferably dead: Seija
Touhou 14.5: "Open Gensokyo. Stop having it be closed. Or I'll wreck you with a 3D printed gun." - a high schooler
Touhou 15: "Fuck the moon" - two angry moms and a fairy
Touhou 15.5: Wow where did my money go?
Touhou 16: "DO YOU HEAR ME GENSOKYO? I RECRUIT SERVANTS!!" - an old god
Touhou 16.5: The high schooler has bad dreams and is not feeling like herself today
Touhou 17: Hell's mafia hires you to kick some goddess' butt
Touhou 17.5: Breaking news! The old god strikes an oil deal with the Hell mafia by manipulating everyone!
Touhou 18: Hey you! Do you want some Pokémon cards? Of course you do now give me your money.
Touhou 18.5: Pokémon cards 2: electric boogaloo
Touhou 19: what if. what if we smashed the Hell mafia and the Pokémon cards together. what would happen.